I believe it comes down to implementation. Without knowing how customized the site you are referring to is, I'm not sure how I should use your input.
Regarding vb, my distinct impression is they will never get their act together. I could enumerate the reasons, but suffice it to say they are many.
We can certainly write custom code easy enough, and use plugins, we are using several. My basic approach is to use the stock software 'creatively' when possible though.
As far as performance, I understand what you mean, however:
- Until just a few weeks ago IPS company forums were completely on a vps, they just went to a dedicated server. They average 500-700 online.
- vb.com uses 5? servers and is still occasionally doggedly slow, maybe 700-850 users?
- tt at last count was up to 7 servers, and they really don't have that many people online usually, maybe 700? As of late they have over 1000, but their timeout could be different now, or people might be taking an extra close look since the change (I am). There are many forums with much more people online, I just checked gaiaonline and currently they have 50k online. Which gets directly back to what I said - it comes down to implementation.
For the record, tt loads really fast when I am logged in. 0.3 seconds? But when I am logged out and see the ads it is about 20x slower, 6 seconds?. The ads are flash and those take time to load, although they might be cached the next time. I am a paying member at TT so when I am logged in I am not shown the ads.
Are you an admin on the that site you are referring to?